Friday, March 18, 2011

Looking for love in all the wrong places.

It's funny. Usually I have a million and one reasons why I should keep something (just call me Queen of Validation). It's useful! There's still some left! It's worth something! I spent a lot on it! My aunt/mother/grandfather/best friend from 2nd grade gave it to me!

You've heard all of the excuses.

But the funny part is that I can come up with even MORE reasons when I don't actually want something but think I should keep it.

Exhibit A:

My grandmother recently moved into an assisted living facility and had to pare down most of her possessions. A lot of these items trickled down to family members, including me. One of the items my father really wanted me to have is this commemorative candle. I think Princess Diana was a wonderful person and I am certain a lot of people own and love this candle that honors her. However, I don't need this to remember her. I don't know if my grandmother felt she she did, either. I have no idea where she got it. I don't burn candles (flame + fluffy cat tail = bad smell and frantic craziness) in the house and don't really like crystal/glassware.

Here are the reasons I keep telling myself why I should keep this:
  • it's from a family member
  • it's possibly worth something
  • my dad wants me to have it
  • my dad may notice someday that I don't have it
  • I should want it because it was my grandmother's possession
Here's the other side of this argument (I can do this all day):
  • I don't really like it
  • I have other things that are special that were my grandmother's and that I do love and enjoy
  • my dad would not be crushed forever if he knew I didn't want it
I know the answer to this argument. But it will still be hard when I give this back or rehouse it.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who does this.....


  1. I feel your pain Amy. However, I have to advise that that I am the real Queen of Validation AND Procrastination!
    You could validate this by saying that there will be a (real) royal wedding soon and maybe it would be best to hang onto it until then. After that, sell it on ebay.

  2. Yup, I do this too amy. I could of written your list of reasons for and against myself.

    I tend to see it as part of the process now, albeit a rather wearing one. I get to the point where it is a huge relief when it is finally gone. But the fear of 'regret' has a real hold on me but I haven't yet mised or regreted anything I have got rid of.

    Of course the one danger you haven't listed is.. everyone thinks you love this (why else would you keep it...) and buys you a matching crytal candle holder commenorating her son's wedding...the her first grandchild's christening....

  3. Wendy -- sounds like we both wear that crown, huh? :) I don't know how I got to be so good at it!!! :)

    You know, that's good advice -- I should hold on to this and see if it might be a good eBay sale -- thanks!!

  4. Purplefish -- you are so right! I don't want to be known as the crystal/candle/glass collector....that is entirely possible. Good call!!!

    It is good to hear that you haven't regretted anything you've gotten rid of. That is a fear of mine -- but hearing this from you is really motivating. Thanks!!!